Answers in the Night: My #1 Evening Ritual for Clarity

My Number One Evening Ritual for Clarity

As far back as I can remember I knew I would never have children. When my husband and I got married we had a long talk about our goals and what marriage meant for each of us. We both agreed we would not have children.

Fast forward 12 years and little Jack enters our lives. On August 19, 2014, I walked into my mothers house after learning my brother's girlfriend (both struggling with drug addiction) had given birh to a little boy.

My plan was to meet my nephew and become the very best aunt a little boy could ever ask for.  


But life had other ideas for me. Or, what I now believe, which is that I had other ideas for me. And those messages were heard loud and clear by the law of mind and spirit. The answers to my deeper vision was reflected back to me in the eyes of this beautiful little boy.

We fell in love that day.

And today, Jack lives with us and he is our son. Our adoption was final on September 9, 2016.

So how did this happen?

I believe we're co-creators. Our thoughts plus our faith equals our experience in life.

Faith as described in the yoga tradition is our conviction and our vision; it's where we place our heart. It takes a dedicated and disciplined mindset to look out and imagine the best for ourselves and to be receptive to the good, even when it looks like there are challenges or roadblocks in the way.

Faith is believing in and being absorbed in what we want to feel, more than sulking in our drama or rigid plans. 

The word for this kind of faith is Sraddha or Bhavana. It means that which can be seen with the whole self: mind/body/soul.  In other words, what we put out via energy, thoughts, images, words, beliefs, attitude, etc is what is reflected back to us. 


When looking back at my life, as often as I said that I didn't want children, I also constantly said I wanted to experience more joy. This longing for more joy and fulfillment is what led me to 12-step, therapy, yoga, positive psychology and eventually spiritual psychology. 

Jack was the answer to my calling in of more joy.

He gives me permission every single day to love more. He teaches me how to be in the moment, to be silly, crazy and spontaneous. He has been my greatest teacher in the art of play!

About two months ago I experiencd a private 3-hour sound healing treatment. At the end of that session I was broken wide open. What was so moving was that after clearing my energy, The amazing healer, Judy Bernard, told me that Jack was in my life to show me how to play and to have more joy. She also said it was no coincidence that my name was Joy. 

And what brought me to deep tears of joy is when Judy shared that Jack had invited Eric and I into his life because he knew we would let his light shine. 

Life is beautiful. 

As Dr. Mitch, one of my most special teachers recently said, "no matter what happens, it is somehow always about love". I believe that with my whole heart. 

Learning to trust the universe, or our higher self is one of the -- if not the -- most important key to living a happy and purposeful life.

I have come to profoundly trust in our creative power. 

Whenever I have need clarity or guidance I put my attention toward how I want to feel -- and trust that as I take my best actions, the answers will come. The guidance will come. Faith lights the way. Faith also requires receptivity. 

So here is my #1 Evening ritual for clarity. This has helped me build receptivity and develop a faith (bhavana) mindset. 


At night, before bed: 

  • I write down all of my questions or concerns on an index card (use one or more if needed).
  • I read my questions out loud. I imagine the answers coming and what that will feel like. I don't get caught up in details. Just in how I feel knowing the answers are here. 

  • Then I read the First Meditation from "Three Magic Words" (it's the BEST!)
  • I let go of struggle and go to sleep 

A flower is receptive to becoming all that a flower can become.

It accepts the soil, rain and sunshine. It doesn't question that it is a flower.

We have to let go of worry, fear and anxieties so we can listen, see and receive all the good that is all around us; guiding us to open to all that we can become, and all that we are. 

Allowing ourselves to be happy, free, and to live in purpose takes practice, but it is so worth it. 


With love,


Joy Stone is a Personal Transformation Coach and Yoga Teacher and uniquely combines positive psychology and yoga tradition in her private and group coaching practice. Learn more about Joy's work HERE

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